Dont know how many of u on facebook read my blogs, doesn't really matter to me. i just write these blogs to say what is on my mind n help me deal with my daily struggles if, and when, they occur. Thank you to those who do, so here goes...
Today i would have been 12 weeks if i still carried my angel baby... time to relax a little as gotten through first trimester, time for scan n hearing the heartbeat... instead i feel empty, numb. Hearing happy girls on the bus talking bout the good things bout being pregnant, fearing the birth, when their due date is etc, seeing happy health babies on the bus n in town, kills me. Why cant i still have my angel bean? what bout my previous angel baby i lost 21/12/12 - due date 15/7/13 ;( Part of life, i guess. My time will come i know that, just seems a long way off right now u know....
Well, wen i saw the obs n gynae consultant, she had said that all my bloodwork n anatomy was fine. Couldn't explain my recurrent miscarriages, except an issue with me being overweight n was confident i will carry to term next time IF i lost the weight. Had my weight checked today. taking orlistat slimming tabs from doc, which u take 3/day combined with a low fat intake. Lost 5kg (11lb ish) in the last 2 weeks - since weighed in boots :) happy bunnie! heading in the right direction...
Physically, i have finally gotten rid of my chest infection, though still odd cough but hey ho. managed to drop from 30-25mg daily pred for a week, before dropping to 22.5mg for 2 weeks then 20mg for 4 weeks... Luckily, i have got the 'fit' doctor next thursday, as i had yet another fit last night (first in 4 weeks) where i became incontinent n bit inside of cheek, though i dont remember doing it.. Hopefully they will have answers for me n put me on the right meds to keep me in check, here's hoping anyways...
Mentally - seen my cpn on friday, which i wrote about previously, n haven't gotta see her unless i feel i need to. she said whenever i feel down etc, to give her a ring or text to talk to her, but talk to Dai too, which i do if i need to. she is pleased with me - kinda - n happy for me that the haloperidol is working n hardly had any voices since taking it :)
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