another attack

Weds night 11.30pm:
chest wheezy n tight n coughing up half a lung. bloody asthma attack. took 10 puffs inh n 2 atrovent - no effect. waited 10 mins then nebbed salb x 2 and 1 x atrovent nebs. worked for a bit but boy had i forgotten what an attack feels like - tiring, smoothering, suffocating... kept doing inh x 10 puff every half hour till 1.30am when my chest finally eased enough for me to sleep, but so i didnt keep Dai awake i slept out in the living room - much cooler too ;)

woke again for inh at 5 n then AGAIN at 7 then up at 9.30am - busy day ahead :/ dai needed to have his monthly bloods done for his meds, then back for hr kip before going for my new tattoo then my Health n Wellbeing course. phew!! i managed with lots inh but God knows how?! now a migraine - ffs!!

Came back home by 5.30 for food n chillout watching TV, felling really down n sorry for myself. Week ago yesterday i had booked in with my midwife n had a scan - what a difference a week makes?? Week ago today they confirmed i was mummy to another angel baby ;( making it 9 angel babies now. Had a tattoo on my right shoulder to remember the babies i had lost - baby pink bow with baby blue footprints above n below it. Wanted to do something to remember them by so thought a tattoo would be perfect.

Talk to people on 'miscarriage n pregnancy loss' fb page as well as blog on here. Really helps, though noone knows what its really like to lose a child(ren) until they been through it themselves; they can only imagine the hurt, pain, depression n overall loss that we go through. They say time is a great healer, though u never get over the loss, they become easier to cope with. Yet, the more i lose the worse i feel after n this time i feel like my whole world has falled apart n completely devastated

until next time, hugs n keep safe xxx